Hault- In the Name of Love

Let's just get things out there on the table. It has been a hot minute since I have posted. I have been dealing with some hardcore puking, fatigue, aches, and all that goes with being freshly pregnant! Yes, that's right, we found out on April 9th, that we are expecting baby #3! We are so excited and and cannot wait until we get to meet this little bundle. It has definitely been a very rocky start, and I'm hoping that by the end of the 1st trimester, I'm morning/all day sickness free! This time around has been very different than the first 2 times. I don't know if it's my age, the fact that I have 2 little guys to chase after all day, or what, but I can definitely say this is 100% different than my previous pregnancies. 

During the 1st trimester with my oldest, I remember having nausea and that was pretty much it. I craved processed food, and sucked on jolly ranchers to help with the nausea. I never got sick, I never was super tired, but I also did not have any children to watch after. With my 2nd baby, I had the same symptoms. I was a bit more tired, but I also had a very easy 10-month-old who allowed me to take naps if I needed. He was not crawling yet, so I did not have to chase after him or freak out about the stairs. I was also still breast-feeding, so if there were any boobie aches, I was blind to it. I honestly think that I had a pretty easy-breazy pregnancy both times around.

...And then, #3 happened! Whoosh! We had some early on scares, that really made us wonder if we were going to make it through the pregnancy. I was not having any symptoms whatsoever, and I was having some bleeding (sorry, TMI). The only things that kept me going was the fatigue and extremely (actually, extremely doesn't even begin to explain it) painful boobies. My Dr had me go in for a 48-hr blood draw, which is when they draw your blood and test your hCg beta numbers and 48-hrs later, they do the same draw. Your numbers need to be doubling at that time in your pregnancy. Well, my first draw was 14,786. This is an extremely high number, like super high. They expected it to be around 3,000 or so. Then, 48-hrs later the number went up to 25,405, which of course made me nervous since the number didn't double. I called the Dr freaking out, and the nurse was telling me that once your number hits about 6-8,000, it generally takes about 96+ hours to double. Looking at my doubling time, it was about 55-60 hrs. She then said, I wouldn't be surprised if you were having twins, which could explain the early bleeding and the high numbers! Ugh, what? This is definitely not the conversation nor the news I was expecting to hear when I made the phone call! OK, deep breath, this is just a guess, this is not for sure! After hanging up the phone and freaking out for a few minutes, I thought about what she said and concluded that she was just excited that it wasn't bad news and she just threw that out there.....right?! To make things even more unknown, my 1st sonogram isn't until May 11th! Here's to a long drawn out wait!!:/ 

Well, now that I am not worried about what is going on in my tum, the all day sickness has taken a turn for the worse. I wake up numerous times a night and enjoy some quality time with the toilet. I wake up in the morning and head straight back to the restroom to puke up whatever water is left in my tummy. By the time I get downstairs with the kids, my stomach hurts so bad, but I think it's because I am so hungry. I cannot eat anything that has sugar, as it's now my arch nemesis! (and we all know how much I love my sugar..) After eating something light, it usually likes to come back up shortly after. By this point, I'm catching myself trying to convince the kids that a nap would be a wonderful idea-I succeed about 25% of the time. After a nap, we eat some lunch or a snack, depending on the time. Macaroni is usually a good choice, as it sits well, and doesn't gross me out. It's about this time, when my stomach has finally settled and doesn't hurt from being so hungry or from getting sick. 

I have to admit, my kids and husband have been so good to me. I don't know how people do it by themselves or when they have very wild children. And maybe, they all just feed off of my energy and understand that Mom needs a lot of quiet time. Plus, when Joe gets home or has the day off, it's go go go for the 3 of them. Thankfully, I am able to hibernate and take as many naps and sleep as long as I need.

xoxo

What's the deal with worms?

Is it just me, or are little kids (my boys especially) obsessed with worms? Yeah, worms! Those creepy, crawly, slimey, grimey, wiggly, little worms. They are so gross and so pointless! Well, that's my opinion of course! My youngest thinks that they are the gift from the heaven's above, to make all children happy! He will go outside, no matter the weather, and go hunting for worms. My oldest has less of a stomach for the creepy crawlers, and let's his little brother do all the hunting and fetching. After the hard work is done, they have set up a cooler for them to be less wild and more like family pets.

After a long day of hunting, my youngest is beyond proud and excited for what he has caught-1 big fat juicy worm (and this was about an 8-hr off and on hunting trip). He was so proud of himself and came inside, chest puffed out, and showed that hard work does pay off. He held onto that worm for a good hour, just playing with it, letting it slither through his fingers, dropped it a few times, probably squeezed it a tad to hard, but all in all, the little guy survived. During his time with his worm, whom at this point was called Sally, I was left in charge of making the perfect home for Sally. I put some water in the cooler, dug up some dirt (where a million other worms appeared, but let's just keep that between us), threw in some grass, and ta-da, we had a palace fit for a worm.

Just as the final touches were being added to the palace, I heard a scream. A blood curdling, life threatening, something really bad just happened, scream! I ran up to my youngest and checked all appendages, under his shirt, his head, everywhere. He continued screaming, and for a quick second I was able to calm him down long enough to get it out of him, what was going on. "Georgia ate Sally"! Oh shit! The dog just ate his award-worthy catch, and he had nothing to show for it. I tried to calm him, but by this point, he was doing the cry that even when they are done crying, they are still crying. "We can find another Sally, and maybe some friends for her" I promised, then soon kicking myself for planting this idea in his little one-way-track mind! This seemed to lighten the mood, and without a blink, we were on a hunt for Sally's cousins and friends.

The next day, bright and early, I was awakened by my little worm loving child. He was ready to dig and find his new family of squirming friends. We made our way to the backyard, where the worm hunt began. Within minutes, we had enough to satisfy a whole river of fish-but of course, they didn't meet the standards of a 3-year-old. "Too small, too skinny, too fat, too slimey, too wiggly, too long, too dirty...well, you get the point. So, the hunt continued. We finally had enough worms for him to sort through and rid the one's that didn't fit his expectations. So, as we  I had done the day before, I remade the fortress for these little fuckers new friends. The water was just the perfect temperature, the dirt was a mix of the finest soils available, and the grass was the greenest, freshest, perfectly sized grass that any worm could possibly wish for. Their castle had been completely renovated, sunroof included, and was ready for the newest occupants. Slowly, but surely, upon further examination, most of the chosen one's were reevaluated and approved of. My son put the worms in their new oasis, and watched them wriggle around for a good 2 minutes. He was so excited and woke up my oldest to let him see what we had created. He was actually pretty impressed with all of hard work and strangely tidy little kingdom. They stayed outside and played around and hunted for some more worthy candidates.
I went in to make breakfast and the kids soon came in to eat. As the day went on, the kids continued to check on the worms and make sure all was well and all accommodations and requests were met. What I didn't know was that each time they went outside, they filled the now swamp, a little bit more with water. By nighttime, the swamp was an ocean and all the worms were on the bottom, just kinda laying around. What I didn't know, was that worms like mud, not pools of water. So, the next day the kids continued to find more worms and put them into the ocean. Not paying much attention, or caring for that matter, the worms were slowly getting larger. Hmmmm, we really know how to run this palace and these little guys are getting super plump. After about 3 days, I noticed that the worms were all still in the same place that they had been since the castle had opened for tenants. I decided to pull the plug (literally and figuratively), and let the water out. As the water emptied, the now hormone induced sized worms were floating out of the release hole. I picked one up and noticed there was no movement what-so-ever, and they were more white than pink. There was a major massacre that had happened and I had to hide it. I quickly made the water empty and watched each of the worms float lifelessly onto the concrete. Shit! Now what am I going to do? How am I going to get them from the patio to the woods? Before I could come up with an actual plan, both kids walked outside and asked what I was doing? I explained that there was too much water in the palace and that the worms can't swim and so they ended up going to worm-heaven. They looked at me and said "so does that mean we get to find more worms and make another house for them"? Yeah, sure, whatever, you can find worms and make another castle for them-I just hope they don't have nightmares from the execution of the worlds most prestigious worms!
xoxo

....and baby makes...CRAZY

In January, I had my IUD taken out. As a sidenote, I highly recommend not trying this yourself. I didn't even know that my body could be contorted in such weird, unnatural ways!!! and that is all I will say about that. Anyways, I went in to the dr and told them that we were going to start trying for #3. As the dr was going through his normal list of questions he asked me "are you sexually active"? I looked at him and without thinking spit out "um, I married, of course I'm not"! He looked at me shocked, but realized he deserved it for asking the ridiculous question. After what seemed to be forever, the magical device that served as the reminder as to why I got the damn thing in the first place was removed. How could something so small, (it kinda looks like one of those dental floss sticks) be in charge of such a massive job? I asked the dr to please bag up the evidence, so I could bring it home and hang it above our bed, to remind my husband that if he wants to stick it, he would be reminded of that night for the rest of his life ;). The dr said he would not do that, as it was bad enough that I was taking it out, and now he would have to have a reminder of it each time he went to bed at night. I said, it would serve as a means of birth control by him just looking at it. By this time, the dr was in fits of giggles and said, "you are one crazy lady, and I can't wait to hear what your husband does when he see's this...and you had better not give him my name or number, because I don't want to be the one who has to explain your humor to him"! Well, it least it will be a funny story to tell #3 when she (will explain this later) is old enough to understand her mother's odd and sick sense of humor. When I got home, Joe was not as shocked as I thought that he would be. He muttered "why am I not surprised"?

To take you back to about November, I had been reading up on how to get pregnant with a girl. I read everything that I could get my hands on like it was the Holy Bible. I made charts, graphs, and anything that would help figure out when and how to create this little girl that we want so bad. (Now don't get me wrong, a boy or a girl will be a blessing and we will love them with all our hearts no matter what the gender ends up being.) Joe has always said he wanted a little girl, and when we discovered that #2 was a boy, we were just as elated. We knew that 2 kids were in our cards, and so happy to have delivered 2 very happy, healthy, beautiful baby boys. Fast forward 3 years later, we realized that 1 more little nugget will really fit perfectly into our little family, and the boys are beyond thrilled. They have been asking for a little sister or brother (depends on the day and the kid) for what seems like eternity, and we are excited to practice making them the perfect little sibling.

If you read anything about how to gender sway, you will find lists upon lists on what to do, what not to do, what to eat, how to have sex, when to have sex, what to avoid during sex, placement of the man's little member, and every other detail that you could imagine. I decided to start with the simple things, such as diet. I went through the list of things that I should avoid and things that are important to have. So, I headed to the drug store, my sidekick and shopping cart were ready to go. (My sidekick is my very dear friend, who is also wanting to gender sway for a little girl-I mean, doesn't everyone plan their pregnancies around their friends schedules, so they will grow up to be best friends and get married?) We loaded the cart with vitamins, ovulation kits, pregnancy tests, basal thermometer, gender tests (who knows if these things work, but they supposedly have you pee in a cup at 10-weeks prego, and can tell you whether you are having a boy or a girl), vinegar douche's, ph level kits, and any and everything else you could possibly imagine to guide you to get pregnant. (What happened to just letting mother nature take the reins, and getting knocked up? I know, this is my own fault, I don't need to be doing this, but if it doesn't hurt anyone, what the hell?!) 

After getting home, we dumped out the contents of the entire store, and got to work. We looked everything up online and started taking our vitamins. They suggest taking prenatals, folic acid, calcium, magnesium, vitamin c, cranberry, and for the man, they need to take selenium and cranberry, and whatever else I feel like tricking him into thinking he needs to take and how he has to take them, such as: 3 sips of water, then spit it out, then take 4 sips, take the Selenium, then gargle, swallow the pill, burp 2 times, rub his tummy, touch his toes, jump up and down 7 times, and repeat with every vitamin that he takes. We knew that we needed to take these supplements about 2-3 months prior to trying to get pregnant, so it has been a pretty entertaining few months. 

The next thing on the list were ovulation predictor kits. With these, it helps you time about when you will be ovulating. For a girl, you are not to have sex within 24-48 hours of ovulating. Reasoning, the girl swimmers are slower than the boys, and they are much hardier and can live longer. The boy swimmers are fast, but weak. So, by having sex before ovulation, it gives the girls a better chance of reaching the egg, while the boy swimmers die off because they got to their location too fast and didn't survive long enough to fertilize the egg. Thus making the slower girl swimmers making their way to the goal just in time for fertilization, and increasing the chances that the girl was the winner. 

The basal thermometer is just like a regular thermometer, but it keeps track of your previous temps. With this little gadget, you take your temperature first thing when you wake up. Before you get up, before you move, before anything, you literally open your eyes and grab the thing from your bedside table and pop it in your mouth-don't even speak before using it. Anything can alter your temp, and so it needs the most accurate reading, by doing the exact same thing prior to taking it. By knowing your basal temp, it also helps figure out when you are about to ovulate. Your temperature rises about 1 degree before ovulation, then goes back, then dips right after ovulation. By charting your temperature, you should be able to predict ovulation, without the help of an ovulation predictor kit (OPK). (A 1-month supply is about $50, vs $5 for a basal thermometer that will last forever). The main downfall of the basal thermometer is if you have irregular periods, then you ovulate at different times. Ovulating at different times can make it harder to pinpoint dates, therefore after tracking over a few months can show to be difficult and very time consuming. They also suggest tracking your cervical mucus (CM, bleh), which can be a not-so-appetizing experience. I guess you could put your hubby in charge of that.....YEAH RIGHT!! So my preferred method is the OPK, since my period can go anywhere from 26-35 days, and last 3-6 days. And getting up and checking my temp first thing every morning, with minimal movement, is next to impossible when you are being waken up by a little rugrat shaking you and demanding that they are beyond starving and need a bowl of cereal at this immediate moment!

The vinegar douche is a totally optional thing. Female sperm are thought to survive better in an acidic environment, where the male sperm survive better in a more alkaline setting. The vinegar douche just adds to the acidity in your 'cookie', and helps raise the survival rate of the girls and decrease the survival rate of the boys. And while on the subject of acidity, it is known that at the entrance of your cookie, there is more acid, and up towards your cervix, it is more alkaline. So with that said, they suggest that the man just enter the tip when ejaculating, (I have a super funny story to share, when all of this nonsense info is finished) as it will be a favored environment for the girls as well as a farther swim, which is also in favor of the girls. So, while doing the dirty, they suggest missionary sex, no orgasm for the girl (as that will create a more alkaline environment from your lady juice), and the man blowing his soldiers at an insertion of just the tip. So all of you girls out there that think you can't get pregnant because "it was just the tip", WRONG! Wrap it up if you don't want to get pregnant-well unless you are going through the backdoor or down your throat....

Now that all of the business has been thoroughly assessed and analyzed, let's talk more about making babies and raising toddlers!

Baby making is supposed to be fun, especially when practicing to make that little bun as perfect as can be ;). But when you put in all of this work and timing has to be on point, it gets to be a little less romantic and a little more like a job. And while being a mommy is a job, trying to become one shouldn't have to be. So, all methods, theories, diets, positions, timing and all that comes with gender swaying, I still try to make it exciting and not share all of the boring and extreme details with Joe. His job is to get it in, enjoy, and pull-out so 'just the tip' is in contact by the final scene.

A few weeks ago, Joe got home from work, and I ran upstairs to do my twice-a-day ovulation test. Testing can show to be tricky, you have about a 6-hour timeframe in which your OPK will show up positive (if you test and retest to confirm, you have a chance it will show up all smiles, but if you test twice daily, you will usually only get one smiley in that time-frame. I hope that makes sense??) Usually, this would be a sign to not get frisky, (because you are close to 'boy making' time) but past months have shown that I ovulate later than what the test shows.  So, I like to practice right after a smiley, and potentially even the morning after. I guess time will tell when I get a + or a - on my prego test. Anyways, back to the story...so, I went up and took a test and after 3 grueling minutes, I got a smiley face. Kids were in bed, and I was raring to go! I flew back downstairs, and told Joe to meet me upstairs in 5 minutes. 35 seconds later he was passing me on the stairs and naked when I got to our room. After a little romancing it was time for some good old-fashioned missionary sex. Things were going full swing, and time was quickly approaching for Joe to make his award-winning performance. I quietly whispered, "you can call me Shal-Pen" to remind him the task at hand. Without hesitation, he burst out laughing and couldn't stop. He had to grab a pillow and put it over his face to stop from waking up the kids-fortunately it didn't kill the mood and his soldiers were ready to march! Just as the final curtain was being pulled, he positioned himself and executed the plan, just as rehearsed. "Whoa, that was a lot!" he proudly announced as he finished up and and cleaned himself with the oh-so-handy towel. "I know" I said, "I could feel it in my butthole!" The laughs started rolling in once again, and before we knew it, the doorknob flipping back-and-forth and kicks against the door began. Thank goodness for locks! Joe jumped up and was dressed before I could scream to get the kids out of there. After he left with the boys back to their rooms, I lay there thinking that this is still fun, even if we have a little bit of guidelines to go by...

Thanks for reading, and please do not judge on gender swaying. We want another baby are happy with whatever outcome we receive, we just thought it would be fun to put this to the test.

xoxo

Being sick with toddlers is like, being sick with toddlers!

So, I have been sick since March 14th. Yes, that means I'm going on 10 days of fever, vomiting, migraines, coughing, running nose, no voice for 6-7 days, body aches, and all the fun that comes with having the flu. Then take into account having a 3 and 4-year-old who have the energy of the damn energizer bunny times 10. Daddy works full time and usually gets home after 8 and leaves around 9 or 10! So, for you mathematical geniuses, that's about 100 hours a day of mini-me-madness! These poor kids are going stir-crazy, have an extreme case of cabin fever, and all they want and continuously (and by continuously, I mean every 5 minutes) ask is "when is daddy coming home"? Oh my sweet little Rugrats, he'll be home in about 89 hours! Good thing they don't have much concept of time, but, well, I do!
My husband never takes time off, never! He works while he is sick, family emergencies, all day everyday! He is the most dedicated and selfless employee a company could ever ask for. Even when he isn't "working", he is still working. Well, I have been down and out for the past week-and-a-half, and one night he came home and woke me from my evening slumber with the kids. He whispered in my ear "I am not working tomorrow, I am staying home and taking care of you!" This was obviously a dream, because he doesn't take days off-especially on a Saturday! A few hours later, I clambered out of bed and he was downstairs with the kids. They had all eaten, bathed, and we're ready for bed. This dream was turning into a fantasy! There is no way that these over energized, half crazed beasts could be calm, clean, and bellies satisfied. Where is my family and what have you done with them?!?!?!
My husband then told me that dinner was in the oven if I was up to eating. The thought angered my tummy and screamed through my head, "I'm good" I murmured. I looked around and the house was spotless, and he had made me a nice little bed on the couch to lay down and relax, (he even had dvr'd my favorite shows) and turned over the remote and let me watch my trash tv. "Did you hear me say that I'm taking tomorrow off to take care of you"? My mouth dropped and thinking to myself, that wasn't a dream?!? He smiled and kissed me on the forehead and told me that we need to get me feeling well again.
Over the next 3 days (he had Sunday and Monday off), and 10-12 packs of fudge-cicles, he babied me, cooked, cleaned, fed me, and so on. He took the boys out most of the day and just let me relax and sleep. I should get sick more often..😉 After a day at the park, my youngest came up to me and said he wanted to take a bath, then he proceeded to climb into my lap and lay his head on my chest❤️. "Mommy" he said "you need to take a bath"! So much for the sweet moment I guess. Ok, ok, ok, I get it! I've been sick for eternity and my body is smelling nothing short of a sewer.
So, today, my husband headed back to work and I feel like I'm on the road to recovery. 84 hours of sleep in a little under 4 days time may have been just what the dr ordered. If it weren't for my saving grace of a husband, who knows how long this bug would have lasted?
But, now I must go. I can hear the kids screaming outside, the hose is on, it's March, it's sunny and cold, and now they are probably going to get sick! Please don't let this be a repeat of the last 10 days!
Until next time!
Xoxo
Afterthought: Last night I was starting to feel a bit better, so I decided to go upstairs and take a nice hot bath (I even shaved my legs). After multiple interruptions and some games of peek-a-boo, a couple questions on why my bubbies are big? (the oldest one was my interrupting, questioning, commentator), and all the other things a 4-year-old must know at 8pm, my husband finally got him to bed. I finished in what seemed to be record time. I lotioned up, put on some fresh panties, a cute (un matching) bra, and a black silk robe-which, of course, was a tad more snug and shorter than I remembered. I tied it at the waist, with some belt-thingy that went to a dress and was navy blue. In short, I was a hot, mismatched mess. I walked down the stairs and in a very sexy strut, (well, sexy may not be the best choice of words😁) went up to my husband and dropped the shoulder of the robe off to show my bra. While doing this, I winked at him, and he asked if there was something in my eye? Then he looked down and started laughing-thankfully at his joke!
We finally had a few minutes of down-time and I was ready to get it on, and without much persistance, he was panting and ready! Now you see, with toddlers, you never know how much time you have, so you have to be ready to go...and stop at any given time. Lucky for us, the stars were all aligned, the moon wasn't full, it wasn't Friday the 13th, so we were able to finish with a bang!!!😉😉😉
The next day, after a full day of work (on both of our parts), I was able to get both boys down to bed and get some housework done. I was in the bathroom scrubbing the floors, and I hear my husband walking up the stairs, and before I could get up to greet him, he was standing in the doorway. He looked down at me and said "seeing you like this might turn me on even more than seeing you last night"!
Lucky for him, I was in a good mood. We both laughed and with dirty toilet hands, I went up and kissed him and said "wanna get down and dirty"?
I love this man and the relationship that we have. Flaws and all, I know he loves me so much-poopy hands and all!

A little introduction

So, as you guessed it! I'm a mom with a blog. With this I hope to accomplish reconnecting,  stories about our lives, maybe a laugh, and show what love really is-even if it comes in the form of worms, mud, poop, and interesting and exciting things like that.
A little about myself: I am married to an incredibly loving, patient, most gorgeous, laid back, funny, generous, selfless, hardworking, dedicated man. He loves me for who I am and what I represent, my faults and flaws, my craziness, the madness I bring to those around me, and all around the person I was, am, and will be. We met on February 7th, 2009 (a Saturday) on a blind date. The date was beyond perfect! He took me to the Melting Pot in Bellevue, and a few hundred bucks and 4 plus hours of conversation (mind you, neither of us were drinking), I had just experienced what a real date was and by far the best 4 hours of my life. We talked about everything that you should never talk about: exes, jobs, religion, likes and dislikes, family, and everything else you could possibly think of. He was such a gentleman! He paid the bill and walked me to my car, and gave me a hug and told me to drive safely. As he drove away, I instantly knew that I must see him again! The next day I text him (I know, so not what the dating book of rules probably has as the #1 rule!) and asked him if he wanted to go see a movie that evening. Minutes later, my phone buzzed and he had replied that he had a wonderful time and would love to see me again tonight. That night, we went to go see 'He's just not that into you', and he never once tried to hold my hand or anything for that matter. He drove me home, opened my door, and hugged me goodnight. By this point I was dying to kiss him, but I wanted to wait until he was ready. By Tuesday, we had plans again and he was making me dinner at his house. Crazy, but he lived one right turn, and a block took a left turn, then about 2-3 miles on that road was where he lived. He made me a fantastic teriyaki chicken dinner, and we sat on the couch and just talked until it was time for me to go home. The date ended in an awkward hug goodbye. By this point I was starting to think that maybe he just wanted to be friends? Well, on Thursday, while at work, I received a special delivery with balloons and flowers and a card that said "Dinner at my house, I will cook?" Ok, maybe he did want to be more than friends! After what seemed like the longest day in work history, I raced home and got ready for the dinner date. When I arrived at his place, he opened the door and led me upstairs. He went into the kitchen to flip the steaks and then walked up to me and said "I have been wanting to do this since I first saw you" and he kissed me. Oh how he kissed me. It was perfect, and that made me think that this was totally worth the wait!

On March 27th, 2009 he told me he had to take the ferry over to Whidbey Island to pick up a car for a friend and wanted to know if I wanted to go with him? He was very casual and said he totally understood if I wanted to stay home, as the weather was crappy and pouring rain. I said I loved the ferry and used to always go for day trips with my family as a kid just to ride the ferry for the day. So, we got to the docks and parked the car and walked on. We grabbed a couple of beers and found a place to sit. I kept commenting on how the boat smelled like poop and pee, and I can tell this was not exactly what he was hoping for. He asked me if I wanted to go out on the front of the ferry, and when we did, the wind and rain were so heavy, we went back in as quick as we went out. He then led me around and took me to the back of the boat-it was less windy, but still rainy. He found a little place under a divider, and started talking about how these last few weeks (6 weeks and 6 days to be exact) had been the most fun, exciting, and eye-opening experience he had ever had. Then he dropped down on one knee and asked me to be his wife? I was so happy and excited and emotional and got down on my knees and kissed him and said "I couldn't imagine my life without you!" 

When the boat docked we walked off, and I asked where we had to go to get the car? "Um, there is no car, it was just my way to lure you on this ferry". So, we turned back around and got back on the ferry and headed back to Everett. When we got off, we went to Anthony's beach cafe, and had dinner. I of course had to tell the entire waitstaff what had just happened. I then called my dad, and he said "he finally did it, he asked me weeks ago for my blessing?" Weeks ago? Dang that was like a month into our relationship and he was already ready to be my husband. <3. I then called my mom and said "guess what"? "You're pregnant" were the first words out of her mouth. I laughed and told her that Joe had proposed and we were getting married! She squealed with excitement, and obviously was very much approving.

We then had to decide on a date. I wanted to get married soon and Joe was up for the challenge. So, we set the date for July 11th, 2009. We had a lot to do in not so much time. As time kept getting closer, the anticipation was growing. I was going to be 'Mrs. Joe Harvey' in just a matter of months/weeks/days. We managed to get it all together and had the most beautiful wedding at 'The Manor' in Everett, WA. We later realized that our beautiful oasis also served as a swinger's club during the week. Seriously, this would be something that would happen to us :).

By August, I had been off my depo-shot for about 2-months (we were told it would take about a year-and-a-half to get prego since I had been on it for so long. Even friends of ours were going through the same thing: a year, 2 years, long enough to be off it so we could get to have time for each other before getting pregnant. Well, apparently we are both quite fertile, and by August I knew something was up. I told Joe that I think I was pregnant, and he laughed and was like yeah, right! So, that day he went to work and I went to the drugstore, and took a test. Sure enough, it came up positive. I took a picture on my phone and sent it to him. His response "yeah right, and it's way too soon"! Not really the reaction I expected, but about 5-minutes later, he called and said "is this for real or are you using a test from a friend? If you are, I am so sorry for my prior comment! I am so excited and cannot wait to meet this little bundle of joy"! Phew, for a minute I thought I might have to run down to the mailman and ask if he wanted to be a daddy to my unborn child that would be here in about 9-months? The time flew by like molasses dripping. We moved into a new place closer to where Joe works, to see if we would actually want to move to the area. Finally, on May 2nd, 2010, our little boy was born. It was the most amazing day of our lives. Joe was so excited and was so helpful and attentive. Having a child really shows you that love is way more than you ever knew. 

February of 2011 came and went and by March, I knew something was up. I took a pregnancy test, and surprise, baby #2 would be making his debut in the coming months. This pregnancy was a bit different. I ate everything that I saw in sight. With #1 I was addicted to fruit, I ate it for breakfast lunch and dinner. I ended up gaining about 20 or so lbs. But with #2, I grew an addiction to anything that could be seen in plain sight, which included things at the grocery store, the gas station, friends pantry's, anything and everything. By November 27th, (my due date) I was the size of a water logged giant beach ball. I was miserable! I was so big and sweaty that even my eyelids were swollen. Due date came and went, and I was finally induced on December 8th, 2012-the day before my birthday. We got to the hospital at around 5:45 am, (45 minutes late), and was induced right away. Due to complications with my first epidural (meaning it never took), they decided to get it going super early so we didn't run into any issues. The anesthesiologist came in to give it to me and asked if her student could give it to me? I told her I can care less who gives it to me, just make sure it works this time! So, after about 25-30 minutes the student was carefully assessing my back and about to stick the needle in, when the anesthesiologist said, just let me do it, you are taking too long. So she jumped back there and before you know it, my legs were getting warm and it was going up to my belly! Success! Wrong! She accidentally gave me a spinal tap, which is what they give to women who are having c-sections, and she told me that if I didn't deliver in the next 2 hours, I would feel everything! Are you fucking kidding me? So, as any smart dr would do, she decided to give me an epidural on top of the spinal tap. As they laid me down, I started feeling sick, and hearing echos, and it sounded like everyone was talking through microphones right in my ear. I started tossing my head back and forth and began vomitting, and then.....it all went black. Apparently I had coded, and died for a quick moment, but then they pumped me with some ephedrine and I was back. The dr's told me they would just let me labor throughout the day and to try to get some rest. Yeah, that's exactly what's going to happen! Finally, I felt the urge to poop, and the nurse checked me, yep, you are fully dilated, but don't worry about pushing. Since this was my 2nd child, the baby would make it's was down the birthing canal and then I would only have to push a few times. This was at about 4pm, and by 7:45, they realized this wasn't going to happen and that I would need to start pushing. The thing is when you have a spinal tap, you are helpless, when you add an epidural to that (which only worked on my right side) you are about as helpful as a hippo that's dead. One nurse was barking at me that I wasn't pushing good, and finally I screamed "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT, I HAVE BEEN UP FOR 2 DAYS, AND I CAN FEEL MY NOSE AND THAT'S ABOUT IT!" Joe was pretty angry too, and told them to let up on me. By this point it was about 11:35pm and still no sign of baby. The dr said you need to start thinking about your options: 1- a c-section or 2 - a vacuum. But with the vacuum, you only get 2 tries, then it's c-section time. Joe said "just get this baby out of her, she is horrible about sharing, letting alone sharing her birthday"!!! They explained the risks of the vacuum, and we took a moment to discuss and pray about it. We ended up opting for the vacuum, and with one small pull from the vacuum and one oversized push, our chunky ball of joy came into this world. They pulled him out at 11:41pm and put him on my chest (they do this so you don't realize that you are being stitched up.) So as my 30th birthday arrived, I was wide-open for the public viewing and being sewed up (Joe made sure to ask for the extra stitch to keep things nice, tight, and in place). As I laid there, spread eagle and all, a man walks in with a PF Changs shirt and looks over at me-could this be any more embarrassing? He then put on a hospital shirt, checked the baby for maybe 10-seconds and said that he was good to go. I guess when you use the vacuum, they need the neonatal team to come and check for any brain bleeding and swelling. Well, I'm glad the 10-second and $10,000 hospital bill for the check was totally worth it.
We were sent home around 5pm on my birthday. As we packed up our things and said goodbye to our friends and family, the nurse came in and said that they were ready to do his circumcision. Ugh, seriously? We are all ready to go, and now you want to take him away from me to snip his winky?! The nurse urged Joe to go with to watch, she told him how it's not bad, only takes a few seconds, and it's pretty cool to see how it's done! Is she serious?! Who wants to watch that?! Who says that it is cool to watch your child get cut, bleed, and scream bloody murder while it is all going down? She then basically forced him to agree to go with to watch. I didn't hear all of the conversation, but I did hear her telling him to follow her and to grab the baby. Next thing I know, I'm asking where Joe was? My dad and brother had stuck around when they heard that they were taking the babe back, and they said that Joe went with to watch. "Yeah right, he would never watch that" I barked! About 2-minutes later Joe walked back into the room. I asked where he was and he explained how the nurse was making him feel guilty about not wanting to watch the circumcision, so when she was grabbing the baby and had her back turned towards him, he made a b-line for the waiting area. Sneaky little guy, but I would have done the EXACT same thing! The nurse went so far beyond inappropriate and entered the 'bitch, you better shut up before I sue your ass' territory. She's lucky that we were packed and ready to get out dodge, because she would be getting an earful!
About 15 minutes went by, and our baby was brought back to us. He was fixed, bandaged, changed, and ready to hit the highway. As I was grabbing the last of our things, I turned around and everyone had vacated the room. What the hell? Where's my baby? Where's my family? I walked out the door, and there was Joe, holding the carseat with the baby, the nurse a few steps ahead of him, and my dad and brother in front of her. Um, hello? Just had a baby over here, where is my chariot, and why is everyone speeding through the asylum to get out of here? By the time I got to the front doors where they pull up the car, Joe was already packed up, baby strapped in, and pulling up to grab me. So much for the dramatic exit! We said goodbye to my family and I slowly climbed into the backseat to be next to my baby....and well, to be a backseat driver and scream at Joe for every little bump, brake, and turn that he made.
When we got home, my best friend was there. She and her family had been there since the 2nd in hopes to be here when the baby arrived. Unfortunately, I wasn't induced until almost 2 weeks after my due date, so she only got to see him for a short time-they had to head back to Cali the next day. And, let me just throw this out there, anyone who is expecting baby #2 or #10, having a friend stay with you to help out is beyond the most amazing thing in the world! Since I was overdue, overweight, and over-tired, she literally spent her whole vacation taking care of my oldest son, her daughter who is 6 weeks younger than my oldest (BFF's), and myself. I literally would wake up, eat, sleep, eat sleep, eat sleep, etc. (You would be able to tell this by just looking at me). She literally made that final week the best that anyone could possibly ask for. I felt so bad because I was so hot and wanted all of the windows open. It was December, and about 35 degrees outside, and it still wasn't cool enough for me. One morning she came into my room and said "is it okay if we turn on the heat? It's kinda cold inside and the kids are freezing!" Oh my gosh, I'm such a hippo! Of course, turn the heat on, I will just stayed cozied in my room with the windows open and the AC on ;). After coming home from the hospital, I was back to feeling cold again. I looked at the thermostat and it was at 54 degrees! How could someone have the nerve of saying that that's too cold, sheesh!!! (I quickly cranked that sucker up to 85. I still have no clue how long they had to sit in the igloo before they turned the heat on? I think I should given the BFF of the year award-NOT)!
I hope you enjoyed my short longest short story ever. I hope to share some fun stories, crazy experiences, and all around joy that comes along with parenthood. So sit back, and I hope you enjoy what is coming your way. I hope to update at least weekly about events, ideas, what's going on, and just everyday shenanigans. Shit, I gotta go, my 3-year-old just made a picture of me, with a unibrow, and a mustache, on the wall, with permanent marker. Cheers to me and being mother-of-the-year!

Hope you love hearing and comparing as much as I love telling about it!

Xoxo
My children's names have intentionally been left out. I would prefer to get permission from them (when they understand what that means), before taking away any bit of dignity that they might have, prior to being forever humiliated by their MOM!