A little about myself: I am married to an incredibly loving, patient, most gorgeous, laid back, funny, generous, selfless, hardworking, dedicated man. He loves me for who I am and what I represent, my faults and flaws, my craziness, the madness I bring to those around me, and all around the person I was, am, and will be. We met on February 7th, 2009 (a Saturday) on a blind date. The date was beyond perfect! He took me to the Melting Pot in Bellevue, and a few hundred bucks and 4 plus hours of conversation (mind you, neither of us were drinking), I had just experienced what a real date was and by far the best 4 hours of my life. We talked about everything that you should never talk about: exes, jobs, religion, likes and dislikes, family, and everything else you could possibly think of. He was such a gentleman! He paid the bill and walked me to my car, and gave me a hug and told me to drive safely. As he drove away, I instantly knew that I must see him again! The next day I text him (I know, so not what the dating book of rules probably has as the #1 rule!) and asked him if he wanted to go see a movie that evening. Minutes later, my phone buzzed and he had replied that he had a wonderful time and would love to see me again tonight. That night, we went to go see 'He's just not that into you', and he never once tried to hold my hand or anything for that matter. He drove me home, opened my door, and hugged me goodnight. By this point I was dying to kiss him, but I wanted to wait until he was ready. By Tuesday, we had plans again and he was making me dinner at his house. Crazy, but he lived one right turn, and a block took a left turn, then about 2-3 miles on that road was where he lived. He made me a fantastic teriyaki chicken dinner, and we sat on the couch and just talked until it was time for me to go home. The date ended in an awkward hug goodbye. By this point I was starting to think that maybe he just wanted to be friends? Well, on Thursday, while at work, I received a special delivery with balloons and flowers and a card that said "Dinner at my house, I will cook?" Ok, maybe he did want to be more than friends! After what seemed like the longest day in work history, I raced home and got ready for the dinner date. When I arrived at his place, he opened the door and led me upstairs. He went into the kitchen to flip the steaks and then walked up to me and said "I have been wanting to do this since I first saw you" and he kissed me. Oh how he kissed me. It was perfect, and that made me think that this was totally worth the wait!
On March 27th, 2009 he told me he had to take the ferry over to Whidbey Island to pick up a car for a friend and wanted to know if I wanted to go with him? He was very casual and said he totally understood if I wanted to stay home, as the weather was crappy and pouring rain. I said I loved the ferry and used to always go for day trips with my family as a kid just to ride the ferry for the day. So, we got to the docks and parked the car and walked on. We grabbed a couple of beers and found a place to sit. I kept commenting on how the boat smelled like poop and pee, and I can tell this was not exactly what he was hoping for. He asked me if I wanted to go out on the front of the ferry, and when we did, the wind and rain were so heavy, we went back in as quick as we went out. He then led me around and took me to the back of the boat-it was less windy, but still rainy. He found a little place under a divider, and started talking about how these last few weeks (6 weeks and 6 days to be exact) had been the most fun, exciting, and eye-opening experience he had ever had. Then he dropped down on one knee and asked me to be his wife? I was so happy and excited and emotional and got down on my knees and kissed him and said "I couldn't imagine my life without you!"
When the boat docked we walked off, and I asked where we had to go to get the car? "Um, there is no car, it was just my way to lure you on this ferry". So, we turned back around and got back on the ferry and headed back to Everett. When we got off, we went to Anthony's beach cafe, and had dinner. I of course had to tell the entire waitstaff what had just happened. I then called my dad, and he said "he finally did it, he asked me weeks ago for my blessing?" Weeks ago? Dang that was like a month into our relationship and he was already ready to be my husband. <3. I then called my mom and said "guess what"? "You're pregnant" were the first words out of her mouth. I laughed and told her that Joe had proposed and we were getting married! She squealed with excitement, and obviously was very much approving.
We then had to decide on a date. I wanted to get married soon and Joe was up for the challenge. So, we set the date for July 11th, 2009. We had a lot to do in not so much time. As time kept getting closer, the anticipation was growing. I was going to be 'Mrs. Joe Harvey' in just a matter of months/weeks/days. We managed to get it all together and had the most beautiful wedding at 'The Manor' in Everett, WA. We later realized that our beautiful oasis also served as a swinger's club during the week. Seriously, this would be something that would happen to us :).
By August, I had been off my depo-shot for about 2-months (we were told it would take about a year-and-a-half to get prego since I had been on it for so long. Even friends of ours were going through the same thing: a year, 2 years, long enough to be off it so we could get to have time for each other before getting pregnant. Well, apparently we are both quite fertile, and by August I knew something was up. I told Joe that I think I was pregnant, and he laughed and was like yeah, right! So, that day he went to work and I went to the drugstore, and took a test. Sure enough, it came up positive. I took a picture on my phone and sent it to him. His response "yeah right, and it's way too soon"! Not really the reaction I expected, but about 5-minutes later, he called and said "is this for real or are you using a test from a friend? If you are, I am so sorry for my prior comment! I am so excited and cannot wait to meet this little bundle of joy"! Phew, for a minute I thought I might have to run down to the mailman and ask if he wanted to be a daddy to my unborn child that would be here in about 9-months? The time flew by like molasses dripping. We moved into a new place closer to where Joe works, to see if we would actually want to move to the area. Finally, on May 2nd, 2010, our little boy was born. It was the most amazing day of our lives. Joe was so excited and was so helpful and attentive. Having a child really shows you that love is way more than you ever knew.
February of 2011 came and went and by March, I knew something was up. I took a pregnancy test, and surprise, baby #2 would be making his debut in the coming months. This pregnancy was a bit different. I ate everything that I saw in sight. With #1 I was addicted to fruit, I ate it for breakfast lunch and dinner. I ended up gaining about 20 or so lbs. But with #2, I grew an addiction to anything that could be seen in plain sight, which included things at the grocery store, the gas station, friends pantry's, anything and everything. By November 27th, (my due date) I was the size of a water logged giant beach ball. I was miserable! I was so big and sweaty that even my eyelids were swollen. Due date came and went, and I was finally induced on December 8th, 2012-the day before my birthday. We got to the hospital at around 5:45 am, (45 minutes late), and was induced right away. Due to complications with my first epidural (meaning it never took), they decided to get it going super early so we didn't run into any issues. The anesthesiologist came in to give it to me and asked if her student could give it to me? I told her I can care less who gives it to me, just make sure it works this time! So, after about 25-30 minutes the student was carefully assessing my back and about to stick the needle in, when the anesthesiologist said, just let me do it, you are taking too long. So she jumped back there and before you know it, my legs were getting warm and it was going up to my belly! Success! Wrong! She accidentally gave me a spinal tap, which is what they give to women who are having c-sections, and she told me that if I didn't deliver in the next 2 hours, I would feel everything! Are you fucking kidding me? So, as any smart dr would do, she decided to give me an epidural on top of the spinal tap. As they laid me down, I started feeling sick, and hearing echos, and it sounded like everyone was talking through microphones right in my ear. I started tossing my head back and forth and began vomitting, and then.....it all went black. Apparently I had coded, and died for a quick moment, but then they pumped me with some ephedrine and I was back. The dr's told me they would just let me labor throughout the day and to try to get some rest. Yeah, that's exactly what's going to happen! Finally, I felt the urge to poop, and the nurse checked me, yep, you are fully dilated, but don't worry about pushing. Since this was my 2nd child, the baby would make it's was down the birthing canal and then I would only have to push a few times. This was at about 4pm, and by 7:45, they realized this wasn't going to happen and that I would need to start pushing. The thing is when you have a spinal tap, you are helpless, when you add an epidural to that (which only worked on my right side) you are about as helpful as a hippo that's dead. One nurse was barking at me that I wasn't pushing good, and finally I screamed "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT, I HAVE BEEN UP FOR 2 DAYS, AND I CAN FEEL MY NOSE AND THAT'S ABOUT IT!" Joe was pretty angry too, and told them to let up on me. By this point it was about 11:35pm and still no sign of baby. The dr said you need to start thinking about your options: 1- a c-section or 2 - a vacuum. But with the vacuum, you only get 2 tries, then it's c-section time. Joe said "just get this baby out of her, she is horrible about sharing, letting alone sharing her birthday"!!! They explained the risks of the vacuum, and we took a moment to discuss and pray about it. We ended up opting for the vacuum, and with one small pull from the vacuum and one oversized push, our chunky ball of joy came into this world. They pulled him out at 11:41pm and put him on my chest (they do this so you don't realize that you are being stitched up.) So as my 30th birthday arrived, I was wide-open for the public viewing and being sewed up (Joe made sure to ask for the extra stitch to keep things nice, tight, and in place). As I laid there, spread eagle and all, a man walks in with a PF Changs shirt and looks over at me-could this be any more embarrassing? He then put on a hospital shirt, checked the baby for maybe 10-seconds and said that he was good to go. I guess when you use the vacuum, they need the neonatal team to come and check for any brain bleeding and swelling. Well, I'm glad the 10-second and $10,000 hospital bill for the check was totally worth it.
We were sent home around 5pm on my birthday. As we packed up our things and said goodbye to our friends and family, the nurse came in and said that they were ready to do his circumcision. Ugh, seriously? We are all ready to go, and now you want to take him away from me to snip his winky?! The nurse urged Joe to go with to watch, she told him how it's not bad, only takes a few seconds, and it's pretty cool to see how it's done! Is she serious?! Who wants to watch that?! Who says that it is cool to watch your child get cut, bleed, and scream bloody murder while it is all going down? She then basically forced him to agree to go with to watch. I didn't hear all of the conversation, but I did hear her telling him to follow her and to grab the baby. Next thing I know, I'm asking where Joe was? My dad and brother had stuck around when they heard that they were taking the babe back, and they said that Joe went with to watch. "Yeah right, he would never watch that" I barked! About 2-minutes later Joe walked back into the room. I asked where he was and he explained how the nurse was making him feel guilty about not wanting to watch the circumcision, so when she was grabbing the baby and had her back turned towards him, he made a b-line for the waiting area. Sneaky little guy, but I would have done the EXACT same thing! The nurse went so far beyond inappropriate and entered the 'bitch, you better shut up before I sue your ass' territory. She's lucky that we were packed and ready to get out dodge, because she would be getting an earful!
About 15 minutes went by, and our baby was brought back to us. He was fixed, bandaged, changed, and ready to hit the highway. As I was grabbing the last of our things, I turned around and everyone had vacated the room. What the hell? Where's my baby? Where's my family? I walked out the door, and there was Joe, holding the carseat with the baby, the nurse a few steps ahead of him, and my dad and brother in front of her. Um, hello? Just had a baby over here, where is my chariot, and why is everyone speeding through the asylum to get out of here? By the time I got to the front doors where they pull up the car, Joe was already packed up, baby strapped in, and pulling up to grab me. So much for the dramatic exit! We said goodbye to my family and I slowly climbed into the backseat to be next to my baby....and well, to be a backseat driver and scream at Joe for every little bump, brake, and turn that he made.
When we got home, my best friend was there. She and her family had been there since the 2nd in hopes to be here when the baby arrived. Unfortunately, I wasn't induced until almost 2 weeks after my due date, so she only got to see him for a short time-they had to head back to Cali the next day. And, let me just throw this out there, anyone who is expecting baby #2 or #10, having a friend stay with you to help out is beyond the most amazing thing in the world! Since I was overdue, overweight, and over-tired, she literally spent her whole vacation taking care of my oldest son, her daughter who is 6 weeks younger than my oldest (BFF's), and myself. I literally would wake up, eat, sleep, eat sleep, eat sleep, etc. (You would be able to tell this by just looking at me). She literally made that final week the best that anyone could possibly ask for. I felt so bad because I was so hot and wanted all of the windows open. It was December, and about 35 degrees outside, and it still wasn't cool enough for me. One morning she came into my room and said "is it okay if we turn on the heat? It's kinda cold inside and the kids are freezing!" Oh my gosh, I'm such a hippo! Of course, turn the heat on, I will just stayed cozied in my room with the windows open and the AC on ;). After coming home from the hospital, I was back to feeling cold again. I looked at the thermostat and it was at 54 degrees! How could someone have the nerve of saying that that's too cold, sheesh!!! (I quickly cranked that sucker up to 85. I still have no clue how long they had to sit in the igloo before they turned the heat on? I think I should given the BFF of the year award-NOT)!
I hope you enjoyed myshort longest short story ever. I hope to share some fun stories, crazy experiences, and all around joy that comes along with parenthood. So sit back, and I hope you enjoy what is coming your way. I hope to update at least weekly about events, ideas, what's going on, and just everyday shenanigans. Shit, I gotta go, my 3-year-old just made a picture of me, with a unibrow, and a mustache, on the wall, with permanent marker. Cheers to me and being mother-of-the-year!
We were sent home around 5pm on my birthday. As we packed up our things and said goodbye to our friends and family, the nurse came in and said that they were ready to do his circumcision. Ugh, seriously? We are all ready to go, and now you want to take him away from me to snip his winky?! The nurse urged Joe to go with to watch, she told him how it's not bad, only takes a few seconds, and it's pretty cool to see how it's done! Is she serious?! Who wants to watch that?! Who says that it is cool to watch your child get cut, bleed, and scream bloody murder while it is all going down? She then basically forced him to agree to go with to watch. I didn't hear all of the conversation, but I did hear her telling him to follow her and to grab the baby. Next thing I know, I'm asking where Joe was? My dad and brother had stuck around when they heard that they were taking the babe back, and they said that Joe went with to watch. "Yeah right, he would never watch that" I barked! About 2-minutes later Joe walked back into the room. I asked where he was and he explained how the nurse was making him feel guilty about not wanting to watch the circumcision, so when she was grabbing the baby and had her back turned towards him, he made a b-line for the waiting area. Sneaky little guy, but I would have done the EXACT same thing! The nurse went so far beyond inappropriate and entered the 'bitch, you better shut up before I sue your ass' territory. She's lucky that we were packed and ready to get out dodge, because she would be getting an earful!
About 15 minutes went by, and our baby was brought back to us. He was fixed, bandaged, changed, and ready to hit the highway. As I was grabbing the last of our things, I turned around and everyone had vacated the room. What the hell? Where's my baby? Where's my family? I walked out the door, and there was Joe, holding the carseat with the baby, the nurse a few steps ahead of him, and my dad and brother in front of her. Um, hello? Just had a baby over here, where is my chariot, and why is everyone speeding through the asylum to get out of here? By the time I got to the front doors where they pull up the car, Joe was already packed up, baby strapped in, and pulling up to grab me. So much for the dramatic exit! We said goodbye to my family and I slowly climbed into the backseat to be next to my baby....and well, to be a backseat driver and scream at Joe for every little bump, brake, and turn that he made.
When we got home, my best friend was there. She and her family had been there since the 2nd in hopes to be here when the baby arrived. Unfortunately, I wasn't induced until almost 2 weeks after my due date, so she only got to see him for a short time-they had to head back to Cali the next day. And, let me just throw this out there, anyone who is expecting baby #2 or #10, having a friend stay with you to help out is beyond the most amazing thing in the world! Since I was overdue, overweight, and over-tired, she literally spent her whole vacation taking care of my oldest son, her daughter who is 6 weeks younger than my oldest (BFF's), and myself. I literally would wake up, eat, sleep, eat sleep, eat sleep, etc. (You would be able to tell this by just looking at me). She literally made that final week the best that anyone could possibly ask for. I felt so bad because I was so hot and wanted all of the windows open. It was December, and about 35 degrees outside, and it still wasn't cool enough for me. One morning she came into my room and said "is it okay if we turn on the heat? It's kinda cold inside and the kids are freezing!" Oh my gosh, I'm such a hippo! Of course, turn the heat on, I will just stayed cozied in my room with the windows open and the AC on ;). After coming home from the hospital, I was back to feeling cold again. I looked at the thermostat and it was at 54 degrees! How could someone have the nerve of saying that that's too cold, sheesh!!! (I quickly cranked that sucker up to 85. I still have no clue how long they had to sit in the igloo before they turned the heat on? I think I should given the BFF of the year award-NOT)!
I hope you enjoyed my
Hope you love hearing and comparing as much as I love telling about it!
XoxoMy children's names have intentionally been left out. I would prefer to get permission from them (when they understand what that means), before taking away any bit of dignity that they might have, prior to being forever humiliated by their MOM!
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