In January, I had my IUD taken out. As a sidenote, I highly recommend not trying this yourself. I didn't even know that my body could be contorted in such weird, unnatural ways!!! and that is all I will say about that. Anyways, I went in to the dr and told them that we were going to start trying for #3. As the dr was going through his normal list of questions he asked me "are you sexually active"? I looked at him and without thinking spit out "um, I married, of course I'm not"! He looked at me shocked, but realized he deserved it for asking the ridiculous question. After what seemed to be forever, the magical device that served as the reminder as to why I got the damn thing in the first place was removed. How could something so small, (it kinda looks like one of those dental floss sticks) be in charge of such a massive job? I asked the dr to please bag up the evidence, so I could bring it home and hang it above our bed, to remind my husband that if he wants to stick it, he would be reminded of that night for the rest of his life ;). The dr said he would not do that, as it was bad enough that I was taking it out, and now he would have to have a reminder of it each time he went to bed at night. I said, it would serve as a means of birth control by him just looking at it. By this time, the dr was in fits of giggles and said, "you are one crazy lady, and I can't wait to hear what your husband does when he see's this...and you had better not give him my name or number, because I don't want to be the one who has to explain your humor to him"! Well, it least it will be a funny story to tell #3 when she (will explain this later) is old enough to understand her mother's odd and sick sense of humor. When I got home, Joe was not as shocked as I thought that he would be. He muttered "why am I not surprised"?
To take you back to about November, I had been reading up on how to get pregnant with a girl. I read everything that I could get my hands on like it was the Holy Bible. I made charts, graphs, and anything that would help figure out when and how to create this little girl that we want so bad. (Now don't get me wrong, a boy or a girl will be a blessing and we will love them with all our hearts no matter what the gender ends up being.) Joe has always said he wanted a little girl, and when we discovered that #2 was a boy, we were just as elated. We knew that 2 kids were in our cards, and so happy to have delivered 2 very happy, healthy, beautiful baby boys. Fast forward 3 years later, we realized that 1 more little nugget will really fit perfectly into our little family, and the boys are beyond thrilled. They have been asking for a little sister or brother (depends on the day and the kid) for what seems like eternity, and we are excited to practice making them the perfect little sibling.
If you read anything about how to gender sway, you will find lists upon lists on what to do, what not to do, what to eat, how to have sex, when to have sex, what to avoid during sex, placement of the man's little member, and every other detail that you could imagine. I decided to start with the simple things, such as diet. I went through the list of things that I should avoid and things that are important to have. So, I headed to the drug store, my sidekick and shopping cart were ready to go. (My sidekick is my very dear friend, who is also wanting to gender sway for a little girl-I mean, doesn't everyone plan their pregnancies around their friends schedules, so they will grow up to be best friends and get married?) We loaded the cart with vitamins, ovulation kits, pregnancy tests, basal thermometer, gender tests (who knows if these things work, but they supposedly have you pee in a cup at 10-weeks prego, and can tell you whether you are having a boy or a girl), vinegar douche's, ph level kits, and any and everything else you could possibly imagine to guide you to get pregnant. (What happened to just letting mother nature take the reins, and getting knocked up? I know, this is my own fault, I don't need to be doing this, but if it doesn't hurt anyone, what the hell?!)
After getting home, we dumped out the contents of the entire store, and got to work. We looked everything up online and started taking our vitamins. They suggest taking prenatals, folic acid, calcium, magnesium, vitamin c, cranberry, and for the man, they need to take selenium and cranberry, and whatever else I feel like tricking him into thinking he needs to take and how he has to take them, such as: 3 sips of water, then spit it out, then take 4 sips, take the Selenium, then gargle, swallow the pill, burp 2 times, rub his tummy, touch his toes, jump up and down 7 times, and repeat with every vitamin that he takes. We knew that we needed to take these supplements about 2-3 months prior to trying to get pregnant, so it has been a pretty entertaining few months.
The next thing on the list were ovulation predictor kits. With these, it helps you time about when you will be ovulating. For a girl, you are not to have sex within 24-48 hours of ovulating. Reasoning, the girl swimmers are slower than the boys, and they are much hardier and can live longer. The boy swimmers are fast, but weak. So, by having sex before ovulation, it gives the girls a better chance of reaching the egg, while the boy swimmers die off because they got to their location too fast and didn't survive long enough to fertilize the egg. Thus making the slower girl swimmers making their way to the goal just in time for fertilization, and increasing the chances that the girl was the winner.
The basal thermometer is just like a regular thermometer, but it keeps track of your previous temps. With this little gadget, you take your temperature first thing when you wake up. Before you get up, before you move, before anything, you literally open your eyes and grab the thing from your bedside table and pop it in your mouth-don't even speak before using it. Anything can alter your temp, and so it needs the most accurate reading, by doing the exact same thing prior to taking it. By knowing your basal temp, it also helps figure out when you are about to ovulate. Your temperature rises about 1 degree before ovulation, then goes back, then dips right after ovulation. By charting your temperature, you should be able to predict ovulation, without the help of an ovulation predictor kit (OPK). (A 1-month supply is about $50, vs $5 for a basal thermometer that will last forever). The main downfall of the basal thermometer is if you have irregular periods, then you ovulate at different times. Ovulating at different times can make it harder to pinpoint dates, therefore after tracking over a few months can show to be difficult and very time consuming. They also suggest tracking your cervical mucus (CM, bleh), which can be a not-so-appetizing experience. I guess you could put your hubby in charge of that.....YEAH RIGHT!! So my preferred method is the OPK, since my period can go anywhere from 26-35 days, and last 3-6 days. And getting up and checking my temp first thing every morning, with minimal movement, is next to impossible when you are being waken up by a little rugrat shaking you and demanding that they are beyond starving and need a bowl of cereal at this immediate moment!
The vinegar douche is a totally optional thing. Female sperm are thought to survive better in an acidic environment, where the male sperm survive better in a more alkaline setting. The vinegar douche just adds to the acidity in your 'cookie', and helps raise the survival rate of the girls and decrease the survival rate of the boys. And while on the subject of acidity, it is known that at the entrance of your cookie, there is more acid, and up towards your cervix, it is more alkaline. So with that said, they suggest that the man just enter the tip when ejaculating, (I have a super funny story to share, when all of this nonsense info is finished) as it will be a favored environment for the girls as well as a farther swim, which is also in favor of the girls. So, while doing the dirty, they suggest missionary sex, no orgasm for the girl (as that will create a more alkaline environment from your lady juice), and the man blowing his soldiers at an insertion of just the tip. So all of you girls out there that think you can't get pregnant because "it was just the tip", WRONG! Wrap it up if you don't want to get pregnant-well unless you are going through the backdoor or down your throat....
Now that all of the business has been thoroughly assessed and analyzed, let's talk more about making babies and raising toddlers!
Baby making is supposed to be fun, especially when practicing to make that little bun as perfect as can be ;). But when you put in all of this work and timing has to be on point, it gets to be a little less romantic and a little more like a job. And while being a mommy is a job, trying to become one shouldn't have to be. So, all methods, theories, diets, positions, timing and all that comes with gender swaying, I still try to make it exciting and not share all of the boring and extreme details with Joe. His job is to get it in, enjoy, and pull-out so 'just the tip' is in contact by the final scene.
A few weeks ago, Joe got home from work, and I ran upstairs to do my twice-a-day ovulation test. Testing can show to be tricky, you have about a 6-hour timeframe in which your OPK will show up positive (if you test and retest to confirm, you have a chance it will show up all smiles, but if you test twice daily, you will usually only get one smiley in that time-frame. I hope that makes sense??) Usually, this would be a sign to not get frisky, (because you are close to 'boy making' time) but past months have shown that I ovulate later than what the test shows. So, I like to practice right after a smiley, and potentially even the morning after. I guess time will tell when I get a + or a - on my prego test. Anyways, back to the story...so, I went up and took a test and after 3 grueling minutes, I got a smiley face. Kids were in bed, and I was raring to go! I flew back downstairs, and told Joe to meet me upstairs in 5 minutes. 35 seconds later he was passing me on the stairs and naked when I got to our room. After a little romancing it was time for some good old-fashioned missionary sex. Things were going full swing, and time was quickly approaching for Joe to make his award-winning performance. I quietly whispered, "you can call me Shal-Pen" to remind him the task at hand. Without hesitation, he burst out laughing and couldn't stop. He had to grab a pillow and put it over his face to stop from waking up the kids-fortunately it didn't kill the mood and his soldiers were ready to march! Just as the final curtain was being pulled, he positioned himself and executed the plan, just as rehearsed. "Whoa, that was a lot!" he proudly announced as he finished up and and cleaned himself with the oh-so-handy towel. "I know" I said, "I could feel it in my butthole!" The laughs started rolling in once again, and before we knew it, the doorknob flipping back-and-forth and kicks against the door began. Thank goodness for locks! Joe jumped up and was dressed before I could scream to get the kids out of there. After he left with the boys back to their rooms, I lay there thinking that this is still fun, even if we have a little bit of guidelines to go by...
Thanks for reading, and please do not judge on gender swaying. We want another baby are happy with whatever outcome we receive, we just thought it would be fun to put this to the test.
xoxo
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