What's the deal with worms?

Is it just me, or are little kids (my boys especially) obsessed with worms? Yeah, worms! Those creepy, crawly, slimey, grimey, wiggly, little worms. They are so gross and so pointless! Well, that's my opinion of course! My youngest thinks that they are the gift from the heaven's above, to make all children happy! He will go outside, no matter the weather, and go hunting for worms. My oldest has less of a stomach for the creepy crawlers, and let's his little brother do all the hunting and fetching. After the hard work is done, they have set up a cooler for them to be less wild and more like family pets.

After a long day of hunting, my youngest is beyond proud and excited for what he has caught-1 big fat juicy worm (and this was about an 8-hr off and on hunting trip). He was so proud of himself and came inside, chest puffed out, and showed that hard work does pay off. He held onto that worm for a good hour, just playing with it, letting it slither through his fingers, dropped it a few times, probably squeezed it a tad to hard, but all in all, the little guy survived. During his time with his worm, whom at this point was called Sally, I was left in charge of making the perfect home for Sally. I put some water in the cooler, dug up some dirt (where a million other worms appeared, but let's just keep that between us), threw in some grass, and ta-da, we had a palace fit for a worm.

Just as the final touches were being added to the palace, I heard a scream. A blood curdling, life threatening, something really bad just happened, scream! I ran up to my youngest and checked all appendages, under his shirt, his head, everywhere. He continued screaming, and for a quick second I was able to calm him down long enough to get it out of him, what was going on. "Georgia ate Sally"! Oh shit! The dog just ate his award-worthy catch, and he had nothing to show for it. I tried to calm him, but by this point, he was doing the cry that even when they are done crying, they are still crying. "We can find another Sally, and maybe some friends for her" I promised, then soon kicking myself for planting this idea in his little one-way-track mind! This seemed to lighten the mood, and without a blink, we were on a hunt for Sally's cousins and friends.

The next day, bright and early, I was awakened by my little worm loving child. He was ready to dig and find his new family of squirming friends. We made our way to the backyard, where the worm hunt began. Within minutes, we had enough to satisfy a whole river of fish-but of course, they didn't meet the standards of a 3-year-old. "Too small, too skinny, too fat, too slimey, too wiggly, too long, too dirty...well, you get the point. So, the hunt continued. We finally had enough worms for him to sort through and rid the one's that didn't fit his expectations. So, as we  I had done the day before, I remade the fortress for these little fuckers new friends. The water was just the perfect temperature, the dirt was a mix of the finest soils available, and the grass was the greenest, freshest, perfectly sized grass that any worm could possibly wish for. Their castle had been completely renovated, sunroof included, and was ready for the newest occupants. Slowly, but surely, upon further examination, most of the chosen one's were reevaluated and approved of. My son put the worms in their new oasis, and watched them wriggle around for a good 2 minutes. He was so excited and woke up my oldest to let him see what we had created. He was actually pretty impressed with all of hard work and strangely tidy little kingdom. They stayed outside and played around and hunted for some more worthy candidates.
I went in to make breakfast and the kids soon came in to eat. As the day went on, the kids continued to check on the worms and make sure all was well and all accommodations and requests were met. What I didn't know was that each time they went outside, they filled the now swamp, a little bit more with water. By nighttime, the swamp was an ocean and all the worms were on the bottom, just kinda laying around. What I didn't know, was that worms like mud, not pools of water. So, the next day the kids continued to find more worms and put them into the ocean. Not paying much attention, or caring for that matter, the worms were slowly getting larger. Hmmmm, we really know how to run this palace and these little guys are getting super plump. After about 3 days, I noticed that the worms were all still in the same place that they had been since the castle had opened for tenants. I decided to pull the plug (literally and figuratively), and let the water out. As the water emptied, the now hormone induced sized worms were floating out of the release hole. I picked one up and noticed there was no movement what-so-ever, and they were more white than pink. There was a major massacre that had happened and I had to hide it. I quickly made the water empty and watched each of the worms float lifelessly onto the concrete. Shit! Now what am I going to do? How am I going to get them from the patio to the woods? Before I could come up with an actual plan, both kids walked outside and asked what I was doing? I explained that there was too much water in the palace and that the worms can't swim and so they ended up going to worm-heaven. They looked at me and said "so does that mean we get to find more worms and make another house for them"? Yeah, sure, whatever, you can find worms and make another castle for them-I just hope they don't have nightmares from the execution of the worlds most prestigious worms!
xoxo